How to Teach Your Pet (and Yourself) to Stop Second-Guessing Everything

If people in your life have undermined your trust in yourself by second-guessing you constantly or trying to force their own opinions (or fears) on you, you may sometimes feel at war with your own mind.

Maybe your pet can help you reconnect with your inner self—that natural intuition we all have but sometimes lose touch with due to overthinking or letting others’ opinions take over. In turn, you can also help your pet feel understood.

Pets are amazing at trusting their instincts, living in the moment, and not caring about others’ opinions. As humans, our ability to imagine scenarios can sometimes backfire—especially when we take bits of information out of context and create worst-case stories about the future or misinterpret the present and past.

Pets Know How to Live in the Moment

Unlike humans, pets don’t get stuck replaying the past or worrying about the future. Ever seen a dog regret not barking louder or a cat second-guess their leap onto the counter? Nope. Pets trust their instincts and move on, even if things don’t go as planned.

As humans, we could use a little of that confidence to move on rather than getting stuck in overthinking loops. Our minds tend to fixate on past decisions, worried about what others think. But your pet’s mindset can be a perfect model for how to handle decision-making.

Helping Your Pet Trust Themselves More

It’s not just about you learning from them—sometimes, pets need a little extra confidence boost too. Just like people, pets can have moments where they feel unsure. Maybe your dog hesitates before jumping into a new activity, or your cat pauses before trying something unfamiliar. Pets will take their cues from you, just like humans do, in a process called social referencing.

Teaching your pet to trust themselves comes down to encouraging their natural instincts. Instead of giving them constant guidance or corrections, try this:

• Let them make decisions: Give them space to figure things out on their own. Whether it’s choosing their favorite toy or deciding where they feel comfortable sleeping, this helps build their self-confidence. This is the same for humans: when others support our efforts to figure things out on our own, it empowers us to discover a sense of agency and mastery.

• Positive reinforcement: Reward their efforts, no matter how small. The more they associate good things with their own decisions, the more confident they’ll become. We all want to feel that others trust us to make decisions and to express our autonomy.

Building Confidence Together

While you’re helping your pet embrace their bold, decisive selves, you’ll find that you’re doing the same for yourself. Every time you encourage your pet to take the lead, it’s a reminder that not every decision needs to be perfect. Trusting yourself, like them, can be a process that feels more natural with time.

Next time you’re caught in a spiral of second-guessing, take a cue from your pet: trust your gut, and don’t look back. Start with small moments of acting on intuition and tuning into your inner knowing. Whether or not everyone agrees with your choices, you have the power to stop questioning yourself and your judgment.